I Am

One morning, my father says;
‘There’s something I’ve got to tell you –
But I don’t know what it is!
Maybe it’ll come to me?
But for now, I’ll brush my teeth
For one hundred and twenty seconds
Followed by a few potatoes.’

Regarding his new, red trainers;
‘Their history’s not mine,’ he sighs,
‘They are too busy for my feet
And I don’t know I’m off-road yet?’ After lunch,
Watching a natural history show,
He repeats; ‘I too am a handsome fowl,
And was one of historical significance!’

From a lifestyle magazine he reads out loud;
‘He’s intelligent, talented, a fabulous shopper,
A good listener and very well-dressed!’  Signs
Hand-and-arm signals for dismount operations,
‘Back up bleeper required – approach
Entrance with extreme caution. The sun’s             lonely
And the barber’s not shaved me for weeks.’